I’ve once again fallen down on the job keeping up these blog posts. I had promised to post twice a week, and then life (or, more honestly, distracted self-pitying laziness) struck and I failed. What can I do other than admit my failing and dive back in? Well, one thing I can do is make no more silly promises. Instead I will do my best to post often, and try to be inspired every time I write. Today I am inspired.
The boy and I have been in a collective funk the last few weeks. It’s been a gorgeous summer. We’re both healthy, in love, have three awesome pets, great supportive families and friends, and, most unusually in these tough times, we are both gainfully employed. But still… we’ve been terribly mopey. The general state of funk in the country is not helping, that’s for sure. We are both dismayed at the widespread hopelessness and uncertainty, and disappointed, perplexed, and, yes, even enraged at the callous and weak response from our leaders. (Okay, that’s my feeling, but when the boy is willing to talk politics with me, which is rare, he seems to agree with all of the above sentiments.) We’re also feeling totally overwhelmed by the work to be done on our fixer-upper house, and yet tired of living in a half-assembled mess. Sigh. Welcome to the pity party.
In fact, less than an hour ago, shortly after the boy left for work, and while I was procrastinating starting my day, I was gurgling in a puddle of self pity. Feeling distracted, bored, and cranky, I wasn’t even looking forward to a little escape we have planned for the weekend — a one-night backpacking adventure with the dogs in the Colorado mountains.
But then, something pulled me out, shook me off, and slapped me in the face with a wonderful saltwater rush of gratitude.
I followed a link to this blog by a woman, Jennie. On the surface, it’s a deliciously engaging food blog, which as an okay cook and avid eater I’m always drawn to. But her recent posts have little to do with food. Jennie very suddenly lost her dear husband, Mikey, just three weeks ago. In a few brief posts, it’s clear that Mikey was the love of Jennie’s life, and while I don’t know her, I can glimpse the depth of her loss. It made me cry. And it made me so terribly grateful.
Not the grateful of the mind — when you tell yourself in that judgmental inner monologue holier-than-thou tone, “You have so much, why are you feeling sorry for yourself?” No, the kind of grateful that fills your heart with bittersweet joy. That’s the kind of grateful I’m feeling right now. I wanted to share that with you.
Of course, it’s very possible that my words aren’t giving you a taste of that feeling, but perhaps this clip from my favorite movie will. Enjoy it. Then breathe. Look out the window. And show someone just how much you love them today. Or just do a little purging in the comments below and tell me what’s been on the menu at your pity party lately? Or, even better, what’s getting you hopeful again?